Monday 21 June 2010

Upon my Apparent Decent into Spinsterhood

In a fairly bizarre conversation with my grandmother over Facebook chat- yes, my grandmother is on facebook- she inquired after my love life and I realised something terrible. I am the only single one. My sister, my cousins, even my bloody grandmother is in a relationship.

Good lord, I’m the last single one.

Now, don’t get me wrong- I’ve had offers, a few dates here and there. So technically (presuming of course that these offers would still stand after they realised what I’m really like, but that’s not the point), I could be in a relationship if I wanted to. Yes, I am aware that all the poor desperate single girls probably say that they don’t want a relationship then sit at home crying, but honestly I can’t imagine sharing my bed/space/food or giving them the countless hours I could otherwise spend watching shows online whilst playing video games.

However it is a little worrying. Not only am I the only singleton in the family, I seem to be quickly turning into Bridget Jones amongst my friends. Both my best female friends at home are in relationships, as is my best guy Gavin. April even has her whirlwind summer turned soul mate story to tell and though it makes me a little sick in my mouth, part of me is jealous and Gavin, once my cynical anti relationship cohort, posts facebook status that are often just his girl friends name. Even my single comrade in arms Keagan revealed to me recently that he had found himself considering a relationship.

Could it be that before I know it I will be alone on Christmas wearing god awful pyjamas, downing the vodka and doing a stunning rendition of ‘All by Myself’? Will I sit alone at dinner tables while the couples look upon me pityingly? Will I be the crazy lady with cats lamenting her lost youth?

(The last one is probably inevitable either way)

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